Friends and vulnerability

authenticity connection friend growth joy self-esteem spiritual Oct 21, 2020

Lack of connection, insecurity, loneliness .... it's real. Women need women, but sometimes we're not nice. But it can get better.

I recently had an opportunity to spend time with some incredible women. Our lives and experiences are not identical, but they do share common threads. We have:

made mistakes
loved big
been hurt
lost important people
been lonely
felt insecure
had great achievements
struggled with weight issues
battled mental and physical illnesses
been vulnerable
loved God and (most of the time now) let ourselves be loved by Him

Those last two? I believe they are the big ones. The ones that really matter, now and for eternity.

Because here’s the thing. Life is tough. We screw up. There are always people better than us at certain things, and there will always be people that want to make us feel “less than”. Don’t let yourself be one of those people.

And if the people you are around most often make you feel that way? Find new people.

Maybe you feel you can’t – what if it’s family? Or your coworkers? You deserve to be treated well. If you feel you can’t distance yourself from certain people in your life, make sure you are adding in positive, encouraging ones to help drown out the negativity.

It can be scary to try to make friends as an adult. It seems like at a certain age, everyone else has friends, either from high school or college or parent circles or work or church. Everyone seems to have all they need. But as I’ve talked with women socially and professionally, I’ve discovered that isn’t true for most of us.

Most of us are craving connection, women we can really be ourselves with.

When you find “your people” a part of you will come alive, maybe for the first time. Or maybe you’ve had deep connections but they’ve changed for some reason. Don’t give up. Reach out. Take chances. Start small.

Not everyone will be a “deep relationship” type person and that’s ok.

My original goal was to have a couple of friends that I could randomly ask to go to the movies or out to eat with me and not feel like a total weirdo when asking. And now I have that. I also have some people that I could call in the middle of the night, that I know without a doubt would be there for me. If you’ve got people in your life like that, you’re incredibly blessed. Take a moment to be thankful for them. And if you don’t? Please don’t give up on finding them.

They need you as much as you need them.

While you’re connecting, really consider checking into the whole Jesus thing if it’s been a while (or if it's all new).

In case you don’t know me well, I AM NOT a Bible scholar. By any stretch of the imagination. But here’s what I know, not just in my head, but really getting into my heart. God loves me. In spite of all of my screw-ups. Regardless of my failures, even the ones that happen again and again. And there is NOTHING (seriously, not a thing) that I can do that will change that. And it’s not just me – He feels the same about YOU. Unconditional love. Not just that I can reach out in the middle of the night, but He sent Jesus to die for me. I’ve always known that, but then again, not deeply. Not just that Jesus died for everyone, but he died for ME. And even if I was the only one, he would have done it. Even if YOU were the only one, he would have done it. I pray you’ll read these, maybe even daily and out loud, and let them sink in.

I am God’s masterpiece.
I was created in the image of God. (Genesis 1:27)
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalms 139:14)
I am created to do good works. (Ephesians 2:10)
I am an important part of the body of Christ. (1 Corinthians 18-30)
I have gifts that I can use to serve others. (1 Peter 4:10)
While I was still a sinner, Jesus died for me. (Romans 5:8)

Challenge - reach out to someone this week, someone you would love to connect with for the first time or on a deeper level. This may be a huge step outside your comfort zone, but it could also be one of the best things you've ever done. I'd love for you to share your experience, and if you found it helpful, please share this post using the buttons on this page.

Love and blessings,

Jenny