What matters most to you?

Are you focusing on what matters most? 

We all want to spend our time on the important things, but we don’t always take the time to figure out exactly what that means to us personally. 

 

What are the most important things to YOU? 

My top priorities may look very different than yours, and that’s ok.  There are no right or wrong answers here - it’s very individualized.  

 

What we have in common, however, is that if we don’t take time to determine what matters, we will most likely spend a whole lot of time on the things that don’t. 

 

As a woman in midlife, I am realizing just how precious time is.  Even the little moments.  I’m questioning, in an empowering way, the choices that I used to make without a second thought. 

 

I’ve often heard that time goes faster as you get older, and I’m starting to experience that myself.  While I’d love to be able to slow it down a bit, the only thing that I can really do is to savor the moments and utilize my time better. Parkinson's Law states that work expands to fill the time available, and I try to keep that in mind as I plan my time. 

What values guide you?

Most companies have a set of guiding values that they are able to refer to when making decisions over the course of day-to-day operations. However, few of us as individuals take the time to get clear on what our own values are.  

 

One of the starting exercises of my upcoming program, The BECOMING Method™ for Midlife Transformation, is taking time to develop your own personal values list.  

 

When I did this work myself, I came up with five words that encompass what matters most to me.  I then tried to rearrange them to come up with an acronym (I’m kinda dorky like that), and came up with the word GRACE.  My kids make fun of me because I use that word so much (this goes way back before the values exercise), so I loved the confirmation that my values were on target. 

 

My top five values are….

 

This is just to get your wheels turning.  We may share all or none of these. 

 

Growth - I believe that we never “arrive” or get done growing. Instead, I want to always be growing, improving, and becoming my best (thus the company name)!

 

Relatability - I always want to be open and honest with others, and I believe that is part of what makes me relatable.  I have to balance that with my family’s privacy, as I am definitely more of an open book than my husband and kids.  

 

Authenticity - I want to be true to who I am.  Even the parts of me that I wish were a little different.  I love my family. I love Jesus. I can be moody. I cuss a little (sometimes more than a little).  I drink sometimes. I love praise and worship music and hair bands and classic rock and a little bit of everything else.  I can be scattered.  I have a tendency to procrastinate. I LOVE people but I am a much better person if I have regular alone time. 

 

Community - Back to those people….I love being with people, helping people, connecting deeply with people.  And I used to wonder why it also exhausts me.  Now I just accept that I can give and give up to a certain point, and then I have to recharge.  And I do that best on my own.  Me, Jesus, and nature are a perfect trio for recharging.  Add in coffee, wine, a journal, a nap, and some movement and it’s even better! 

 

Encouragement - I don’t always get it right, but I want to be encouraging to everyone I meet.  I think it’s so easy to get down on ourselves and to feel discouraged when we’re trying to make changes. It can definitely feel like one step forward and two steps back.  But the reality is, it’s often a few steps forward and a couple back, and that means we’re making progress! And that is something worth celebrating! 

So what about you? What matters most? 

I encourage you to take the time to do this work for yourself.  Then put it somewhere you can see it - on your mirror or wall, as a phone reminder, as a screensaver.

 

When you start feeling stressed or out of alignment, revisit your list.  What are you straying from? This has happened to me recently.  

 

My mother-in-law declined while I was out of town at a conference.  When I returned, we spent a lot of time at my in-laws’ house, which was wonderful. 

 

I’m so grateful that we were able to have that time.  She became more ill, ended up on hospice, and passed away.  

 

We had many days of family time that were priceless.  Family members that hadn’t been home in a while were all able to come together and have fun and make memories despite the circumstances.  

 

Knowing myself and my values helped me to have love and grace

All of this togetherness was a huge gift, but it also took a toll.  I was around a lot of people for long periods.  There wasn’t a lot of time to recharge.  I was sleeping less than usual.  I did, however, keep up with my workouts, and that helped me cope. 

 

But something had to give - I felt like I was giving so much in my in-person life that I completely checked out of my online life. And while I absolutely believe it was the right decision, it still weighs on me because of my values. 

 

So I am doing what I can about it - growing from it - and now I really understand the point of having things planned and ready to post so that in times like this, I don’t fall off the radar.  I love connecting with you, but I didn’t have it in me at the time.  

 

I have struggled with depression off and on since my teens, and I have been able to manage it without meds for several years. But I found myself disconnecting a bit more than usual, even from close friends, and knew I was on the verge of slipping a bit further. Thankfully I am getting back to my norm. 

 

Know yourself, know when you need help.

Regular self check-ins can help to nip issues in the bud. We all go through times of life when things are a bit more challenging.  It’s not weakness, it’s humanness. 

 

If you need help, reach out to a supportive friend or family member.  Reach out to God. Reach out to me. Just don’t try to do it all alone. This past year has made it abundantly clear how much we need each other. 

 

And I also have come to the conclusion that I need help.  

That is difficult for me, because I like to get things done on my own. But again, revisiting my values lets me know that community and encouragement are more important to me. 

 

So I am looking for someone that would be interested in moderating The Becoming YOUR Best Community Facebook group. This would be a volunteer role, but you would receive a discount on paid offerings.  Ideally I’m looking for 1-2 women who would like to take a more active role in the community. This would include posting at least 3-4x/week, some original content if desired in addition to sharing posts from other people/pages that align with our goals and vibe. If interested, please reach out and let me know! 

 

I’d love it if you’d share your values and thoughts with me!

Reach out and connect via email at [email protected], or on Facebook or Instagram.  

 

Love and Blessings, 

Jenny 

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