3 simple steps to turn negative self-talk around quickly

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. - Henry Ford

We talk about the power of positive thinking, but what if that feels fake? It’s not about a Pollyanna view or ignoring that bad things happen. For me, it’s believing that things will all work out. As a Jesus follower, I believe what he said in John 16:33:

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, you can benefit from these 3 simple steps to turning your negative self-talk around.

1. Be aware of it

Sometimes the non-stop mental chatter that we all have becomes so normal that we don’t even think about it. Simply tuning in and noticing what you’re saying to yourself can be a big eye-opener.  And do this without judgment. 

Consider if what you’re...

Stress effects on the body - I didn’t know it could sneak up on me like that!

Stressed out? I thought I had it all under control. I help people manage their stress, so my own couldn’t be an issue! 

But it was.  More about all of that in a bit, as well as a surprising way to protect yourself.

Stress is a common topic. Most of us are either stressed out, trying to destress, or know someone who is struggling with their stress.  But what is stress really, what are some of the common stress effects on the body, and what can we do about it?

What is stress?

According to Merriam-Webster, stress is “a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation”. Stressful situations are a normal part of life, but our reactions to them can be modified. 

Stress effects on the body

Stress can be either acute or chronic. 

Acute stress is generally helpful. It’s a response to a threat,...

This week we were going to go deeper into self-care and how to build that rhythm into our days and weeks, but it’s taking a bit of a different turn.  I’m going to focus on grief and loss and hope and the importance of knowing what matters most to you - and living it out.

I often hear grief described as a roller coaster.

And while that makes sense to me (the ups and downs, the “hold on tight” and all), from my first deep grieving experience when I lost my mom in 2018,

I see grief more as riding the waves.  

I had been fortunate enough that at 42 I hadn’t lost anyone super close to me before.  Mom’s death was sudden and unexpected. Despite working up close with death as a hospice nurse for 12 years at the time, I hadn’t been on the other side of death and grieving.

One of the things that stood out to me the most were the waves of grief that would come out of nowhere.

I could be driving down the road or doing something...

Are you focusing on what matters most? 

We all want to spend our time on the important things, but we don’t always take the time to figure out exactly what that means to us personally. 

What are the most important things to YOU? 

My top priorities may look very different than yours, and that’s ok.  There are no right or wrong answers here - it’s very individualized.  

What we have in common, however, is that if we don’t take time to determine what matters, we will most likely spend a whole lot of time on the things that don’t. 

As a woman in midlife, I am realizing just how precious time is.  Even the little moments.  I’m questioning, in an empowering way, the choices that I used to make without a second thought. 

I’ve often heard that time goes faster as you get older, and I’m starting to experience that myself.  While I’d love to be able to slow...

Risks and choices keep life exciting!

Today I am six months postop from my shoulder surgery. I have been cleared by my surgeon.  I am free!

But this is about so much more than my arm.

A lot has changed in the past six months.

I went from going to therapy for almost a year prior to surgery to deciding to have surgery during a pandemic for a variety of reasons.

First of all, we were not sure what would happen to my husband‘s job, and our insurance is through him.

Secondly, we were spending money on therapy to maintain my range of motion and function, so our deductible was met or close to met already. Due to the long-term therapy, my pain was well managed, and really so was my use of my arm, which happened to be my dominant arm.

But the bottom line was, It was not going to get any better without surgical intervention. As a matter of fact, it would continue to get worse, and could potentially have become suddenly much worse, leaving me in pain all the time.

Last but...

When we are surrounded by chaos and uncertainty, it can feel selfish to focus on ourselves, but I believe that’s exactly where we need to start.

But even after further reflection, I wouldn't change my answer. Here's why.

Lack of connection, insecurity, loneliness .... it's real. Women need women, but sometimes we're not nice. But it can get better. 

I recently had an opportunity to spend time with some incredible women.  Our lives and experiences are not identical, but they do share common threads.  We have:

• made mistakes
• loved big
• been hurt
• lost important people
• been lonely
• felt insecure
• had great achievements
• struggled with weight issues
• battled mental and physical illnesses
• been vulnerable
• loved God and (most of the time now) let ourselves be loved by Him

Those last two? I believe they are the big ones.  The ones that really matter, now and for eternity. 

Because here’s the thing.  Life is tough. We screw up. There are always people better than us at certain things, and there will always be people that want to make us feel “less than”.  Don’t let yourself be one of those people. 

And if the people you are around most often make...

Dreams for the New Year

What do you dream about? If nothing comes to mind immediately please, please stop and take a few minutes to think about that. Dreams give us purpose and they can move us forward when we are tired, when we just don’t feel it.

For the past year or so I have been working part-time on building my coaching business, working around my regular nursing jobs, my anti-aging/health and wellness business, and some newer crafty endeavors. Here is a recap of some things that I have discovered throughout my own journey:

Let’s dig into these a little more.

04.03.17 Beauty in imperfection

Beauty in imperfection

I just got back from a quick beach vacation that was filled with a lot of thinking and just being. 

I went with my best friend and her son and my boys, and even though we were in the car together for a LONG TIME (we are not the quickest travelers), the boys spent a lot of time doing their own thing while we talked and listened to different personal development books along the way. 

Both of us are kind of at a crossroads in our lives professionally speaking and the time to just get away and reflect was good for both of us. 

Although I don’t consider myself to be a big fan of water (I don’t like to get my face wet and I don’t swim well because of that), I love seeing and hearing the ocean. Really it doesn’t have to be the ocean, although there is something special about saltwater. 

As long as there are waves and that roaring crash and a...