Why don't we ask for what we want?

I was able to learn an important lesson from a nine-year-old this weekend.

I've heard “if you don't ask the answer is always no” and I've even shared that with other people. But there are still those things that we're taught when we're young that stick with us, things like:

Don't be rude.

Don't invite yourself. 

Don't ask somebody for presents.

Don't bother them.

But I think I’ve changed my mind on this.

This weekend I was able to get together with some dear friends. One of them happens to be 9 years old and is the grandson of a friend. When I was leaving, I asked one of my adult friends if there was anything she wanted me to bring her on my way back to Indiana from Kentucky next time. And my young friend spoke up and said: “I want you to bring me a souvenir”. 

If I’m honest, my first thought was, “Well, I don't mind but you're not supposed to ask for things.”

But as soon as I had that...

Life is short, y'all. 

(I’m in Kentucky now, and I’ve found I like the word y’all even more here). 

I have had the pleasure of talking with an 80 something-year-old woman lately about her life and all of the great experiences she’s had. She's talked about the challenges she's faced, too, but most of it has been focused on the fact that her life has been good.

I believe a lot of that has to do with attitude and focus.  She could have chosen to focus on the awful (yes, there was quite a bit of awful), but instead, she focuses on the good parts. 

And that, along with working in hospice and being surrounded by death for years really brings home the fact that

we've got to make the most of this one chance we've got. 

I believe that we are all here for a purpose and that doesn't have to be a huge “change the world” kind of thing. It may be raising a family. It may be doing incredible work for a small company, doing something...

Last week I flew to New Jersey to serve with City Relief, a homeless outreach organization serving many in NJ and NYC.  It’s one of the highlights of my year, and I’m so thankful to be serving with a team this year, small as it was.  

Those of us that have served before feel a sense of awe and wonder and privilege when we go.  Last year due to quarantine rules I went by myself.  I quarantined in a VRBO in NJ for two weeks, then was able to serve on the streets with City Relief. I was still recovering from rotator cuff surgery, so I was off work and able to take the time to go.  And it was a huge blessing like always, but it was very different than previous years.

Covid made the whole process of serving our friends in the streets look and feel less personal. I truly felt the distance part of social distancing.  We typically prayed for people one-on-one and had sometimes lengthy conversations with them, but in 2020 it was...

Are you focusing on what matters most? 

We all want to spend our time on the important things, but we don’t always take the time to figure out exactly what that means to us personally. 

What are the most important things to YOU? 

My top priorities may look very different than yours, and that’s ok.  There are no right or wrong answers here - it’s very individualized.  

What we have in common, however, is that if we don’t take time to determine what matters, we will most likely spend a whole lot of time on the things that don’t. 

As a woman in midlife, I am realizing just how precious time is.  Even the little moments.  I’m questioning, in an empowering way, the choices that I used to make without a second thought. 

I’ve often heard that time goes faster as you get older, and I’m starting to experience that myself.  While I’d love to be able to slow...

Lack of connection, insecurity, loneliness .... it's real. Women need women, but sometimes we're not nice. But it can get better. 

I recently had an opportunity to spend time with some incredible women.  Our lives and experiences are not identical, but they do share common threads.  We have:

• made mistakes
• loved big
• been hurt
• lost important people
• been lonely
• felt insecure
• had great achievements
• struggled with weight issues
• battled mental and physical illnesses
• been vulnerable
• loved God and (most of the time now) let ourselves be loved by Him

Those last two? I believe they are the big ones.  The ones that really matter, now and for eternity. 

Because here’s the thing.  Life is tough. We screw up. There are always people better than us at certain things, and there will always be people that want to make us feel “less than”.  Don’t let yourself be one of those people. 

And if the people you are around most often make...

What sparks joy for you or makes you feel loved?

Self-care isn't selfish. 

Now before you start thinking that you don’t have the time or the money for this, hear me out.  It does not have to be something big and elaborate. Chances are, you have a lot of the tools you need right there at home. And what if you want to kick it up a notch and buy something new for yourself? Great!

1. Are there certain:
• colors
• scents
• sounds that either make you feel relaxed or make you happy?
2. What about certain fabrics? Is it the cool feel of silk? Or something more warm and cozy?
3. Fuzzy socks
4. Candlelight
5. A good book
6. A favorite movie
7. Yoga or some leisurely stretching
8. Fresh flowers 
9. Rich...

Dreams for the New Year

What do you dream about? If nothing comes to mind immediately please, please stop and take a few minutes to think about that. Dreams give us purpose and they can move us forward when we are tired, when we just don’t feel it.

For the past year or so I have been working part-time on building my coaching business, working around my regular nursing jobs, my anti-aging/health and wellness business, and some newer crafty endeavors. Here is a recap of some things that I have discovered throughout my own journey:

Let’s dig into these a little more.

Why I am better than you...

I recently turned 44. The funny thing is, I had thought that I was 44 for most of the year that I was 43, so it was a relief to finally be the right age! I’m not sure why I had to stop and think about it, but every time age came up I had to take a moment and do the math. I know some people struggle with getting older, and there is a part of me that wishes I had my 20-something body (and metabolism!) but overall I wouldn’t trade the younger me for the current me. My 40’s have been the best so far, and I fully expect it to keep getting better. I still have a bikini pic from about 15 years ago to encourage me to dream big (or small), but when I look at this younger version of me, I feel bad for her. I am able to tell her “I am better than you”. You see, she really struggled. She always felt like she didn’t measure up, like she was not quite good enough, a little too heavy (she wasn’t), a little too loud, a little/lot...