3 tips to make the most of your time in a funk

A couple of days ago I was visited, again, by The Funk.  

You likely know what I’m talking about: life is going along fine, often pretty well, and BAM! The Funk hits.  It’s that feeling of lethargy, apathy, and hopelessness that usually hits suddenly, and thankfully, leaves rather quickly too.  

For me, it usually doesn’t last more than a couple of days, and it’s often even less.  As someone who has experienced depression in the past, the symptoms seem similar to me at first, but depression is more insidious.  It sneaks up on you, it stays longer, and it requires treatment. 

But The Funk? There is no sneakiness here.  He comes in hard, slams the door open, stomps through with muddy boots, and flops down so heavily on the couch that dust from five years ago billows up.  And there he stays until he’s good and ready to leave. 

Here’s how this visit...

This week we were going to go deeper into self-care and how to build that rhythm into our days and weeks, but it’s taking a bit of a different turn.  I’m going to focus on grief and loss and hope and the importance of knowing what matters most to you - and living it out.

I often hear grief described as a roller coaster.

And while that makes sense to me (the ups and downs, the “hold on tight” and all), from my first deep grieving experience when I lost my mom in 2018,

I see grief more as riding the waves.  

I had been fortunate enough that at 42 I hadn’t lost anyone super close to me before.  Mom’s death was sudden and unexpected. Despite working up close with death as a hospice nurse for 12 years at the time, I hadn’t been on the other side of death and grieving.

One of the things that stood out to me the most were the waves of grief that would come out of nowhere.

I could be driving down the road or doing something...

The BECOMING Method™ series week 3 of 8.

Life is hectic - and we can be so busy taking care of everyone else's needs that we lose sight of who we are.

Check out these simple yet effective tips for getting in touch with what makes you so amazing - fast!

By this time, you:

- know where you’re starting from

- have determined your areas of improvement/opportunity

- know what energizes and drains you

- know how to feel more confident

If you’re just joining me, you can check out the first 3 weeks here:

Podcast version - start the BECOMING Method series with episode 8

Blog version - just search the BECOMING Method category

And you can download the Life Balance Tool here.

 Ok, let's dive in...

When you think about who you are, you likely think about your name and the roles you play - your occupation, your family roles, the things you do. 

But you’re more than that.  

You are a unique individual with genetic makeup and gifts and talents...

What makes you feel alive and excited? What sucks the life out of you?

The BECOMING Method series, post 2 of 8.

By this time, you:

- know where you’re starting from

- have determined your areas of improvement/opportunity

If you are just tuning in and didn’t join us last week, please go back and do so, or just grab the Life Balance Tool at www.jennylytle.com/balance. This will give you a way to take a look at your life in each of the major areas and determine where you’d like to make some positive changes.

This week we’re going to move on to the E in the BECOMING Method - Excitement!

What lights you up? Gives you energy?

What do you enjoy doing so much that you lose track of time? Take a few minutes to start coming up with some ideas. 

The thing is, as adults we often get so busy taking care of responsibilities that we can forget to do those things that recharge us.  And then we wonder why we feel so tired and stressed...

Why don't we ask for what we want?

I was able to learn an important lesson from a nine-year-old this weekend.

I've heard “if you don't ask the answer is always no” and I've even shared that with other people. But there are still those things that we're taught when we're young that stick with us, things like:

Don't be rude.

Don't invite yourself. 

Don't ask somebody for presents.

Don't bother them.

But I think I’ve changed my mind on this.

This weekend I was able to get together with some dear friends. One of them happens to be 9 years old and is the grandson of a friend. When I was leaving, I asked one of my adult friends if there was anything she wanted me to bring her on my way back to Indiana from Kentucky next time. And my young friend spoke up and said: “I want you to bring me a souvenir”. 

If I’m honest, my first thought was, “Well, I don't mind but you're not supposed to ask for things.”

But as soon as I had that...

Life is short, y'all. 

(I’m in Kentucky now, and I’ve found I like the word y’all even more here). 

I have had the pleasure of talking with an 80 something-year-old woman lately about her life and all of the great experiences she’s had. She's talked about the challenges she's faced, too, but most of it has been focused on the fact that her life has been good.

I believe a lot of that has to do with attitude and focus.  She could have chosen to focus on the awful (yes, there was quite a bit of awful), but instead, she focuses on the good parts. 

And that, along with working in hospice and being surrounded by death for years really brings home the fact that

we've got to make the most of this one chance we've got. 

I believe that we are all here for a purpose and that doesn't have to be a huge “change the world” kind of thing. It may be raising a family. It may be doing incredible work for a small company, doing something...

Last week I flew to New Jersey to serve with City Relief, a homeless outreach organization serving many in NJ and NYC.  It’s one of the highlights of my year, and I’m so thankful to be serving with a team this year, small as it was.  

Those of us that have served before feel a sense of awe and wonder and privilege when we go.  Last year due to quarantine rules I went by myself.  I quarantined in a VRBO in NJ for two weeks, then was able to serve on the streets with City Relief. I was still recovering from rotator cuff surgery, so I was off work and able to take the time to go.  And it was a huge blessing like always, but it was very different than previous years.

Covid made the whole process of serving our friends in the streets look and feel less personal. I truly felt the distance part of social distancing.  We typically prayed for people one-on-one and had sometimes lengthy conversations with them, but in 2020 it was...

Are you focusing on what matters most? 

We all want to spend our time on the important things, but we don’t always take the time to figure out exactly what that means to us personally. 

What are the most important things to YOU? 

My top priorities may look very different than yours, and that’s ok.  There are no right or wrong answers here - it’s very individualized.  

What we have in common, however, is that if we don’t take time to determine what matters, we will most likely spend a whole lot of time on the things that don’t. 

As a woman in midlife, I am realizing just how precious time is.  Even the little moments.  I’m questioning, in an empowering way, the choices that I used to make without a second thought. 

I’ve often heard that time goes faster as you get older, and I’m starting to experience that myself.  While I’d love to be able to slow...

Lack of connection, insecurity, loneliness .... it's real. Women need women, but sometimes we're not nice. But it can get better. 

I recently had an opportunity to spend time with some incredible women.  Our lives and experiences are not identical, but they do share common threads.  We have:

• made mistakes
• loved big
• been hurt
• lost important people
• been lonely
• felt insecure
• had great achievements
• struggled with weight issues
• battled mental and physical illnesses
• been vulnerable
• loved God and (most of the time now) let ourselves be loved by Him

Those last two? I believe they are the big ones.  The ones that really matter, now and for eternity. 

Because here’s the thing.  Life is tough. We screw up. There are always people better than us at certain things, and there will always be people that want to make us feel “less than”.  Don’t let yourself be one of those people. 

And if the people you are around most often make...

What sparks joy for you or makes you feel loved?

Self-care isn't selfish. 

Now before you start thinking that you don’t have the time or the money for this, hear me out.  It does not have to be something big and elaborate. Chances are, you have a lot of the tools you need right there at home. And what if you want to kick it up a notch and buy something new for yourself? Great!

1. Are there certain:
• colors
• scents
• sounds that either make you feel relaxed or make you happy?
2. What about certain fabrics? Is it the cool feel of silk? Or something more warm and cozy?
3. Fuzzy socks
4. Candlelight
5. A good book
6. A favorite movie
7. Yoga or some leisurely stretching
8. Fresh flowers 
9. Rich...