Riding the waves of grief

This week we were going to go deeper into self-care and how to build that rhythm into our days and weeks, but it’s taking a bit of a different turn.  I’m going to focus on grief and loss and hope and the importance of knowing what matters most to you - and living it out.

I often hear grief described as a roller coaster.

And while that makes sense to me (the ups and downs, the “hold on tight” and all), from my first deep grieving experience when I lost my mom in 2018,

I see grief more as riding the waves.  

I had been fortunate enough that at 42 I hadn’t lost anyone super close to me before.  Mom’s death was sudden and unexpected. Despite working up close with death as a hospice nurse for 12 years at the time, I hadn’t been on the other side of death and grieving.

One of the things that stood out to me the most were the waves of grief that would come out of nowhere.

I could be driving down the road or doing something...

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What do you really love doing?

The BECOMING Method™ series week 7 of 8. This week we’re going to move on to the N in the BECOMING Method Needs - what is missing from your life - body, mind, and spirit

Looking at the activities that make up your day-to-day life can lead to finding ways to increase the things you love and decrease the things you loathe.

By this time, you:

- know where you’re starting from

- have determined your areas of improvement/opportunity

- know what energizes and drains you

- what makes you feel amazing

- know what makes you unique

- what matters most to you

- what you still want to see, do, and experience

 

If you’re just joining me, you can check out the previous weeks here:

Podcast version - the BECOMING Method series starts with episode 8

Blog version - click the link for the BECOMING Method series

Let’s get started with this week’s topic - Needs - what is missing from your life - body, mind, and spirit...

One of the ways that you can explore what...

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Only YOU - what makes you so special

The BECOMING Method™ series week 3 of 8.

Life is hectic - and we can be so busy taking care of everyone else's needs that we lose sight of who we are.

Check out these simple yet effective tips for getting in touch with what makes you so amazing - fast!

By this time, you:

- know where you’re starting from

- have determined your areas of improvement/opportunity

- know what energizes and drains you

- know how to feel more confident

If you’re just joining me, you can check out the first 3 weeks here:

Podcast version - start the BECOMING Method series with episode 8

Blog version - just search the BECOMING Method category

And you can download the Life Balance Tool here.

 

 Ok, let's dive in...

When you think about who you are, you likely think about your name and the roles you play - your occupation, your family roles, the things you do

But you’re more than that.  

You are a unique individual with genetic makeup and gifts and talents...

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Homelessness in NYC at Christmastime

Last week I flew to New Jersey to serve with City Relief, a homeless outreach organization serving many in NJ and NYC.  It’s one of the highlights of my year, and I’m so thankful to be serving with a team this year, small as it was.  

 

Those of us that have served before feel a sense of awe and wonder and privilege when we go.  Last year due to quarantine rules I went by myself.  I quarantined in a VRBO in NJ for two weeks, then was able to serve on the streets with City Relief. I was still recovering from rotator cuff surgery, so I was off work and able to take the time to go.  And it was a huge blessing like always, but it was very different than previous years.

 

Covid made the whole process of serving our friends in the streets look and feel less personal. I truly felt the distance part of social distancing.  We typically prayed for people one-on-one and had sometimes lengthy conversations with them, but in 2020 it was...

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What matters most to you?

Are you focusing on what matters most? 

We all want to spend our time on the important things, but we don’t always take the time to figure out exactly what that means to us personally. 

 

What are the most important things to YOU? 

My top priorities may look very different than yours, and that’s ok.  There are no right or wrong answers here - it’s very individualized.  

 

What we have in common, however, is that if we don’t take time to determine what matters, we will most likely spend a whole lot of time on the things that don’t. 

 

As a woman in midlife, I am realizing just how precious time is.  Even the little moments.  I’m questioning, in an empowering way, the choices that I used to make without a second thought. 

 

I’ve often heard that time goes faster as you get older, and I’m starting to experience that myself.  While I’d love to be able to slow...

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Friends and vulnerability

Lack of connection, insecurity, loneliness .... it's real. Women need women, but sometimes we're not nice. But it can get better. 

I recently had an opportunity to spend time with some incredible women.  Our lives and experiences are not identical, but they do share common threads.  We have:

  • made mistakes
  • loved big
  • been hurt
  • lost important people
  • been lonely
  • felt insecure
  • had great achievements
  • struggled with weight issues
  • battled mental and physical illnesses
  • been vulnerable
  • loved God and (most of the time now) let ourselves be loved by Him

Those last two? I believe they are the big ones.  The ones that really matter, now and for eternity. 

Because here’s the thing.  Life is tough. We screw up. There are always people better than us at certain things, and there will always be people that want to make us feel “less than”.  Don’t let yourself be one of those people. 

And if the people you are around most often make...

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Beauty in Imperfection

 

04.03.17 Beauty in imperfection

Florida trip—Beauty in Imperfection

Beauty in imperfection

I just got back from a quick beach vacation that was filled with a lot of thinking and just being. 

I went with my best friend and her son and my boys, and even though we were in the car together for a LONG TIME (we are not the quickest travelers), the boys spent a lot of time doing their own thing while we talked and listened to different personal development books along the way. 

Both of us are kind of at a crossroads in our lives professionally speaking and the time to just get away and reflect was good for both of us. 

Although I don’t consider myself to be a big fan of water (I don’t like to get my face wet and I don’t swim well because of that), I love seeing and hearing the ocean. Really it doesn’t have to be the ocean, although there is something special about saltwater. 

As long as there are waves and that roaring crash and a...

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