Why don't we ask for what we want?

I was able to learn an important lesson from a nine-year-old this weekend.

I've heard “if you don't ask the answer is always no” and I've even shared that with other people. But there are still those things that we're taught when we're young that stick with us, things like:

Don't be rude.

Don't invite yourself. 

Don't ask somebody for presents.

Don't bother them.

But I think I’ve changed my mind on this.

This weekend I was able to get together with some dear friends. One of them happens to be 9 years old and is the grandson of a friend. When I was leaving, I asked one of my adult friends if there was anything she wanted me to bring her on my way back to Indiana from Kentucky next time. And my young friend spoke up and said: “I want you to bring me a souvenir”. 

If I’m honest, my first thought was, “Well, I don't mind but you're not supposed to ask for things.”

But as soon as I had that...

Life is short, y'all. 

(I’m in Kentucky now, and I’ve found I like the word y’all even more here). 

I have had the pleasure of talking with an 80 something-year-old woman lately about her life and all of the great experiences she’s had. She's talked about the challenges she's faced, too, but most of it has been focused on the fact that her life has been good.

I believe a lot of that has to do with attitude and focus.  She could have chosen to focus on the awful (yes, there was quite a bit of awful), but instead, she focuses on the good parts. 

And that, along with working in hospice and being surrounded by death for years really brings home the fact that

we've got to make the most of this one chance we've got. 

I believe that we are all here for a purpose and that doesn't have to be a huge “change the world” kind of thing. It may be raising a family. It may be doing incredible work for a small company, doing something...

Ready to start the new year off with a bang, but New Year's resolutions don't feel like the right idea? These 2 steps will help you even if goal-setting isn't your thing. 

The reality is, goals are amazing and important.  But sometimes it can also feel overwhelming to try to put together a plan to achieve things that you have a hard time really even imagining are possible for yourself. Start with a review of 2021 so that you can celebrate, learn, and adjust, and then envision what you want your life to look like.

If you have been working through the “Best Year Ever” 5-day challenge, you've likely already at least started on these two exercises. And if you didn’t join in, no worries - you can still get the info delivered over a 5 day period - starting as soon as you register.  

Even if you didn’t work through the whole goal-setting plan, here’s what I hope you’ll take the time to do:

1. Fill out the Four Helpful...

But knowing yourself makes it even better.

I recently celebrated three months of consistent daily activity. 

The parameters I set for myself (using my Fitbit for tracking)

• at least 10,000 steps 
• at least 20 to “active“ minutes according to Fitbit
• 30 minutes of intentional movement - walking, running, dancing, indoor workouts - can be divided into more than one session if needed

I had been doing this sporadically but decided to get more consistent starting May 1.

I know that fr me, and likely for you, things that I do daily impact me more than the things I do every now and then. 

It has been hot a lot of the time, and I am not a big fan of heat. Some days it has rained nonstop and I’ve had to get more creative. 

Ideally, I like to walk and I like to do it in nature. At least once or twice a week I try to go to a nearby park with walking trails because it is more shaded, and because I love to hear and smell and see the sounds in nature and take...

Are you focusing on what matters most? 

We all want to spend our time on the important things, but we don’t always take the time to figure out exactly what that means to us personally. 

What are the most important things to YOU? 

My top priorities may look very different than yours, and that’s ok.  There are no right or wrong answers here - it’s very individualized.  

What we have in common, however, is that if we don’t take time to determine what matters, we will most likely spend a whole lot of time on the things that don’t. 

As a woman in midlife, I am realizing just how precious time is.  Even the little moments.  I’m questioning, in an empowering way, the choices that I used to make without a second thought. 

I’ve often heard that time goes faster as you get older, and I’m starting to experience that myself.  While I’d love to be able to slow...

Risks and choices keep life exciting!

Today I am six months postop from my shoulder surgery. I have been cleared by my surgeon.  I am free!

But this is about so much more than my arm.

A lot has changed in the past six months.

I went from going to therapy for almost a year prior to surgery to deciding to have surgery during a pandemic for a variety of reasons.

First of all, we were not sure what would happen to my husband‘s job, and our insurance is through him.

Secondly, we were spending money on therapy to maintain my range of motion and function, so our deductible was met or close to met already. Due to the long-term therapy, my pain was well managed, and really so was my use of my arm, which happened to be my dominant arm.

But the bottom line was, It was not going to get any better without surgical intervention. As a matter of fact, it would continue to get worse, and could potentially have become suddenly much worse, leaving me in pain all the time.

Last but...

Give yourself a gift this Christmas.  Love yourself.  Accept yourself.  Flaws and all. 

That doesn’t mean there aren’t things you want to change and improve.

It doesn’t mean you are stuck with certain aspects of your life. 

And it's not selfish.  As a matter of fact, it's biblical! (see below)

You can love yourself, accept yourself, AND believe you deserve more. 

Notice the difference - it's not about not being enough as you are.  It's about deserving to be the BEST version of YOU that you can be! 

Sometimes we berate ourselves and compare ourselves to others.  And you know what? There will always be someone better than you in one area or another of life. 

But it’s just as likely that there is some area where you are KILLING IT – and that they are a little envious of you too.

The only one you should be comparing yourself to is YOU. And even then,...

When we are surrounded by chaos and uncertainty, it can feel selfish to focus on ourselves, but I believe that’s exactly where we need to start.

But even after further reflection, I wouldn't change my answer. Here's why.

Lack of connection, insecurity, loneliness .... it's real. Women need women, but sometimes we're not nice. But it can get better. 

I recently had an opportunity to spend time with some incredible women.  Our lives and experiences are not identical, but they do share common threads.  We have:

• made mistakes
• loved big
• been hurt
• lost important people
• been lonely
• felt insecure
• had great achievements
• struggled with weight issues
• battled mental and physical illnesses
• been vulnerable
• loved God and (most of the time now) let ourselves be loved by Him

Those last two? I believe they are the big ones.  The ones that really matter, now and for eternity. 

Because here’s the thing.  Life is tough. We screw up. There are always people better than us at certain things, and there will always be people that want to make us feel “less than”.  Don’t let yourself be one of those people. 

And if the people you are around most often make...

Dreams for the New Year

What do you dream about? If nothing comes to mind immediately please, please stop and take a few minutes to think about that. Dreams give us purpose and they can move us forward when we are tired, when we just don’t feel it.

For the past year or so I have been working part-time on building my coaching business, working around my regular nursing jobs, my anti-aging/health and wellness business, and some newer crafty endeavors. Here is a recap of some things that I have discovered throughout my own journey:

Let’s dig into these a little more.