3 simple steps to turn negative self-talk around quickly

Becoming YOUR Best with Jenny Lytle, RN
3 simple steps to turn negative self-talk around quickly
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3 simple steps to turn negative self-talk around quickly

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. - Henry Ford

We talk about the power of positive thinking, but what if that feels fake? It’s not about a Pollyanna view or ignoring that bad things happen. For me, it’s believing that things will all work out. As a Jesus follower, I believe what he said in John 16:33:

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, you can benefit from these 3 simple steps to turning your negative self-talk around.

1. Be aware of it

Sometimes the non-stop mental chatter that we all have becomes so normal that we don’t even think about it. Simply tuning in and noticing what you’re saying to yourself can be a big eye-opener.  And do this without judgment. 

Consider if what you’re...

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Riding the waves of grief

This week we were going to go deeper into self-care and how to build that rhythm into our days and weeks, but it’s taking a bit of a different turn.  I’m going to focus on grief and loss and hope and the importance of knowing what matters most to you - and living it out.

I often hear grief described as a roller coaster.

And while that makes sense to me (the ups and downs, the “hold on tight” and all), from my first deep grieving experience when I lost my mom in 2018,

I see grief more as riding the waves.  

I had been fortunate enough that at 42 I hadn’t lost anyone super close to me before.  Mom’s death was sudden and unexpected. Despite working up close with death as a hospice nurse for 12 years at the time, I hadn’t been on the other side of death and grieving.

One of the things that stood out to me the most were the waves of grief that would come out of nowhere.

I could be driving down the road or doing something...

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No time or energy for self-care

How do you fit in self-care even when you feel like you don't have the time or energy?

So many of us are burning the candle at both ends and have so much going on that there just doesn't feel like enough hours in the day. There is a lot of work that can be done to dig into what matters the most and free up some time. But for this week we are just going to concentrate on how to fit in little bits of self-care into the tiny pockets of time that you likely do have available even if you don't realize it right now. 

Think about your mornings. 

  • First of all, what do they look like? 
  • What about when you wake up? 
  • Are you alone? 
  • Are there others that are already awake? 
  • Or maybe you have a couple of minutes before you have to start waking everybody else up

Getting up even 10 minutes earlier can allow you a few minutes of alone time to set the day off on the right foot. 

Maybe it's… 

  • sitting outside and drinking a cup of coffee or 
  • ...
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Turn off the autopilot to live an intentional, amazing life.

Life is short, y'all. 

(I’m in Kentucky now, and I’ve found I like the word y’all even more here). 

I have had the pleasure of talking with an 80 something-year-old woman lately about her life and all of the great experiences she’s had. She's talked about the challenges she's faced, too, but most of it has been focused on the fact that her life has been good.

I believe a lot of that has to do with attitude and focus.  She could have chosen to focus on the awful (yes, there was quite a bit of awful), but instead, she focuses on the good parts. 

And that, along with working in hospice and being surrounded by death for years really brings home the fact that

we've got to make the most of this one chance we've got. 

I believe that we are all here for a purpose and that doesn't have to be a huge “change the world” kind of thing. It may be raising a family. It may be doing incredible work for a small company, doing something...

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Homelessness in NYC at Christmastime

Last week I flew to New Jersey to serve with City Relief, a homeless outreach organization serving many in NJ and NYC.  It’s one of the highlights of my year, and I’m so thankful to be serving with a team this year, small as it was.  

 

Those of us that have served before feel a sense of awe and wonder and privilege when we go.  Last year due to quarantine rules I went by myself.  I quarantined in a VRBO in NJ for two weeks, then was able to serve on the streets with City Relief. I was still recovering from rotator cuff surgery, so I was off work and able to take the time to go.  And it was a huge blessing like always, but it was very different than previous years.

 

Covid made the whole process of serving our friends in the streets look and feel less personal. I truly felt the distance part of social distancing.  We typically prayed for people one-on-one and had sometimes lengthy conversations with them, but in 2020 it was...

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What matters most to you?

Are you focusing on what matters most? 

We all want to spend our time on the important things, but we don’t always take the time to figure out exactly what that means to us personally. 

 

What are the most important things to YOU? 

My top priorities may look very different than yours, and that’s ok.  There are no right or wrong answers here - it’s very individualized.  

 

What we have in common, however, is that if we don’t take time to determine what matters, we will most likely spend a whole lot of time on the things that don’t. 

 

As a woman in midlife, I am realizing just how precious time is.  Even the little moments.  I’m questioning, in an empowering way, the choices that I used to make without a second thought. 

 

I’ve often heard that time goes faster as you get older, and I’m starting to experience that myself.  While I’d love to be able to slow...

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I took a big risk and I’m so glad I did!

Risks and choices keep life exciting!

Today I am six months postop from my shoulder surgery. I have been cleared by my surgeon.  I am free!

But this is about so much more than my arm.

 

A lot has changed in the past six months.

I went from going to therapy for almost a year prior to surgery to deciding to have surgery during a pandemic for a variety of reasons.

First of all, we were not sure what would happen to my husband‘s job, and our insurance is through him.

Secondly, we were spending money on therapy to maintain my range of motion and function, so our deductible was met or close to met already. Due to the long-term therapy, my pain was well managed, and really so was my use of my arm, which happened to be my dominant arm.

But the bottom line was, It was not going to get any better without surgical intervention. As a matter of fact, it would continue to get worse, and could potentially have become suddenly much worse, leaving me in pain all the time.

Last but...

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Friends and vulnerability

Lack of connection, insecurity, loneliness .... it's real. Women need women, but sometimes we're not nice. But it can get better. 

I recently had an opportunity to spend time with some incredible women.  Our lives and experiences are not identical, but they do share common threads.  We have:

  • made mistakes
  • loved big
  • been hurt
  • lost important people
  • been lonely
  • felt insecure
  • had great achievements
  • struggled with weight issues
  • battled mental and physical illnesses
  • been vulnerable
  • loved God and (most of the time now) let ourselves be loved by Him

Those last two? I believe they are the big ones.  The ones that really matter, now and for eternity. 

Because here’s the thing.  Life is tough. We screw up. There are always people better than us at certain things, and there will always be people that want to make us feel “less than”.  Don’t let yourself be one of those people. 

And if the people you are around most often make...

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New Year, New You

Dreams for the New Year

What do you dream about? If nothing comes to mind immediately please, please stop and take a few minutes to think about that. Dreams give us purpose and they can move us forward when we are tired, when we just don’t feel it.

 
 
For the past year or so I have been working part-time on building my coaching business, working around my regular nursing jobs, my anti-aging/health and wellness business, and some newer crafty endeavors. Here is a recap of some things that I have discovered throughout my own journey:
 
· people crave connection
· fear holds a lot of us back
· prioritizing ourselves is rare
· small changes can make a huge impact
 

Let’s dig into these a little more.

We are “connected” 24/7 via technology, but many people that I talk to report feeling like their real support system is small or nonexistent. I personally love technology in general and social media...
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Beauty in Imperfection

 

04.03.17 Beauty in imperfection

Florida trip—Beauty in Imperfection

Beauty in imperfection

I just got back from a quick beach vacation that was filled with a lot of thinking and just being. 

I went with my best friend and her son and my boys, and even though we were in the car together for a LONG TIME (we are not the quickest travelers), the boys spent a lot of time doing their own thing while we talked and listened to different personal development books along the way. 

Both of us are kind of at a crossroads in our lives professionally speaking and the time to just get away and reflect was good for both of us. 

Although I don’t consider myself to be a big fan of water (I don’t like to get my face wet and I don’t swim well because of that), I love seeing and hearing the ocean. Really it doesn’t have to be the ocean, although there is something special about saltwater. 

As long as there are waves and that roaring crash and a...

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